Luli M. Arroyo: Her mother's daughter
July 23, 2005
Inquirer News Service
Are you spending a lot more time with your mom now-with this series of events that's been happening-than you used to?
I try to spend more time with her. I have my own work, but my hours are flexible, so, yes, I try to spend more time with her. And then there are also more requests for me to attend to ceremonial things that my dad used to do.
What work do you do? I work in a non-profit called The Foundation for IT Education and Development. We deal with IT policy in Asia Pacific region. But within the Philippines we also do a lot of community work geared towards public high school teachers, training them to use technologies to enhance teaching method. It's not for teachers to teach IT literacy, it is for them to use the different technologies available to teach Math, Science, English and Filipino better... We cooperate with many other non-profits and foundations that give computer labs to schools and connectivity. So we focus on the training of the teachers.
Are you a techie yourself?
I used to be. But then, you know how fast the technology changes. So talagang naku, patay, na-overtake na naman. I remember when I was in grad school, and my mother came to visit. My computer-I just bought a generic one-would break down at times. So I would get my tool kit and open up the computer and fix the memory board. Tapos sabi niya, "Ano ba naman niyan? Bakit ikaw ang gumagawa iyan, anak?" "Kasi mahal dito, 'Nay." (laughter) (Why are you fixing it?" "Because it's expensive, mother."
Did she buy you a new one?
No. Kasi kami, you have your budget, you live with it.
Even now?
Oo. Now, I work. I don't earn much but I am self-sustainable.
From Day One of the present crisis, were you aware of what was happening?
When is your Day One?
Let's just say when the wiretapping scandal blew up.
When that happened I was abroad and when I heard the source, I said, "Polluted source."
When did you come back?
Latter part of June.
Your mom had said that she had talked to the family and that the family had counseled her not to resign. Is that what happened?
To us kasi, my mother was elected the President. And she has that obligation to everyone who voted her. She has that obligation to our nation. No matter how hard it is for our family, it would be very selfish for us to tell her, "Give up." We'll never do that.
Did you ever hear her talk about the possibility of resigning?
My mother is not the type. And it is not "I am going to hold on to power." It's not that. It's really because this is the rule of law and this is the situation where she must continue her duties and responsibilities.
Did she ask the family for advice before the apology and "lapse in judgment" speech? Were you privy to that?
We were there when she made the apology. The whole family was there... To me, that she knows our family is always behind her is enough.
Was it her personal decision to apologize?
We never tell my mother what to do. To me, I think, for other people to tell her what to do, kapal naman, medyo malakas ang dating. (The gall, it's too much.) You can advise the President what to do but ultimately it's a decision that she has to make. And we are there to support her.
In what ways do you give support to your mom these days?
Well, before, they would only ask me to do ceremonial stuff if the others were not available. But now, because parang I got moved up, I have to devote more time. It's really a matter of fixing my schedule.
Do you find yourself giving more personal attention to your mom these days?
I try to do that... Maybe I don't see my mom in the daytime but I sleep with her. Basta yung paa namin magka-connect sa gabi. (We make sure that out feet touch) (laughter) When I sleep with her, we have a big bed but we occupy only one-eighth of the bed kasi ang liit-liit namin (because we are both small) (laughter).
Have you been sleeping with her a lot these past weeks?
Uh-huh.
Does she sleep soundly?
Yeah, oo.
Have you seen your mom cry? Oo.
How about lately? No.
What makes her cry usually?
Iba-iba (Various things). I guess, like any normal woman-frustration, betrayal, stuff like that. Or her children- like me, if something happens to me, then she feels for me.
There's been a lot of betrayal lately. Did that make her cry?
My mom is very focused on what needs to be done. So she doesn't dwell on the things that may cloud the path to work. She's really focused on work. And my mom doesn't let emotion get in the way. I mean, even in the way she deals with people, she would get upset because something was not done. But hindi siya nagtatanim ng galit. (She does not hold grudges.) If you were able to fulfill what you were supposed to do before your deadline, or kahit na lumampas but you were able to do it right away after, then she'll acknowledge that you did it properly. And people don't realize that she's mabait (kind) that way.
Her reputation is mataray (snooty), di ba?
Because the media only take the part about her getting mad. They don't put the part where she says, "Oh, very good." That when she sees that guy again, she's smiling.
But doesn't your mom have a temper?
Even me, let's say you agree on a work program, on a deadline. If you don't do it, mapipikon ako sa iyo. (She gets irritated.) My mom also gets upset that the work is not done. But if you were able to make amends so you've done what you were supposed to do, then she's fine. She doesn't get mad at the person, she gets upset at the situation. Because you're wasting government time and effort and you're not doing your service to the community.
It's hard to be president because your concern is 81 million people, 81 provinces and how many municipalities. Dami niyan. And if you're just wasting people's time and energy, how can she not get frustrated by that? Or get upset by that? But if she gives you the opportunity to actually be able to do the work and to fulfill what you said you were going to do, it's a chance that nobody else gives you. And that's what people don't see.
What's the most frustrating part about being in the middle of all this?
I'm not in the middle of all this. I am on the sidelines of all this.
Being on the sidelines of all this, what is the most frustrating part?
I just don't think my mother deserves all this. Na she's the bruha (witch) of the... you know. She doesn't deserve it at all. She works so hard and to be cast as, like, the bane of society is so... so unfair.
Are there particular people whom you just really hate, in the middle of all this?
I try not to have evil thoughts. (Laughter) Like I've said, I don't have the grace that my mother has, though I am working on it... I love my mother dearly, so s'yempre it cannot be helped that it crosses my mind, but I just move on.
Do your friends talk about the situation with you around?
My friends are very supportive. They say, "Let's have lunch, let's have merienda, dinner." And now, whenever we go somewhere, the waiters come and say, "Pakisabi naman sa nanay mo, 'wag syang magre-resign." Ganyan. (Please tell your mother, do not resign.) It's very heartwarming. Talagang nakakataba ng puso. (I'm grateful.)
What do you say?
"'Wag kayong mag-alala, hindi naman sya magi-give up." (Don't worry, she will not give up.) Some give notes. "Pakibigay naman sa nanay mo." (Please give this to your mother.) And it's all very encouraging. [They say] "We're not big people and we're not in the media but, please, do not resign." It's really fantastic. And then I even get free stuff because of that (laughter)... an extra dollop of salad dressing or something, just because of the goodwill that comes out of it.
But have some people changed toward you? Maybe not friends but others you've known.
Yes! My lola also said there's a time when you'll know who your real friends are. And that Friday, when they had that setup [protest rally] of trying to snowball a resignation from my mom, oh, you knew who your friends were then.
Do you think the print media has been unfair to your mom more than the broadcast media?
Media in general. And, to me, it's not the first time they have been unfair to the President, but that doesn't excuse it. It's no excuse na "lahat naman ng Presidente iniintriga namin." That doesn't make it right, 'di ba?
Do you think the media was unfair to Erap (Joseph Estrada)?
My mother is not the first president the media has been beating up. I'm gonna leave it at that.
Do you feel like you've had to put your personal life on hold because of all this?
No. I do have a personal life and I like to keep it that way.
You said you have a personal life. But are there days when you say "I wish I could do this or do that"?
I don't think there is anything I've not been able to do that I would want to do regularly.